2020 - 2019
Why do we buy art? Word from the artist
When on the edge of something new, vast and uncertain, we suddenly find comfort in the present.
Sat in the present hyperaware before the leap, absorbed with by hesitation questioning the depths of the deep. Knowing this moment will be the last and checking you're ready to leave. Being held back by fear but also a pleasant moment of peace.
A moment of numbness and silence all of a sudden, deeply reflecting on how far we've come. Thanking this edge for this moment of peace as we sit in limbo between future you and present me.
It was I that got me here in the first place, so don't tell me you now want to stay! If you even dare, I swear you'll be bored within a day.
Take the dive and trust it'll be fine, the anticipation and excitement will help keep you dry. There is just so much more to explore, so go ahead, embrace this moment of pause. But not for too long! Then push yourself off and find out where you belong.
South London is home.
South is my birthmark and it is my honour to protect your name. You may not see these paintings as the gritty south but they are to me in many ways. I see the lines of people as they move between the streets. The colours of the signage and the divide between the sky, the ground and the tube beneath our feet.
The most glamourous city I've ever known, who's views are desirable at every turn. From the edge of a bridge looking down the River Thames, to down an alley lit by a night club where communities collide and he/she becomes they and them.
Your poeticism is unignorable. Those angles and them curves! But they're bleaching your melanin with newbuilds and using cladding to hide ours. Sometimes I wish you'd fight back even though I'm not sure how. You caught fire back in 2008 and look where we are now.
You have been painted onto my soul, my voice, my fashion, my face. Being from South is my unapologetic plee that I never have to lose myself again.
I feel safe here, I feel me. I know you, and you know me.
But if one day I have to leave, I'll find my way back to these streets. It'll be like I never left because my history, my place here is unerasable you see.
When we see ourselves as unacceptable it's hard to believe any other way. When we know our stories to be painful we often invite loneliness to stay.
Being used to protection over affection it can be very hard to hear. Certain words like "I love you" or "you're great" are absolutely doused in fear. Because we know that love is all-encompassing, occupying and subjective. And we believe the moment you let your guard down, it'll rip you in two and leave you to pick up the pieces.
But actually, what do we know off of the back of a childhood rooted in protection over pain? What do we know of these connections that we've never felt, embraced or seen?
This painting is a commitment to me and future I, that I see her pain, fears and sorrow inside. But together we will paint over these lines, until the canvas are love pink and sunshine yellow to display in our new lives. It will feel like we're fighting a war at times, but I promise we'll go slow. One move at a time focused on the feeling that love fairytales can too be mine.
'Love' from the series is sold but 'Hurts' is available here
How did you find your intuition? I found mine through these! Having studied art for years, finally, I could say, I was free.
I found meaning in my marks and feeling in my paint, comfort in my brushes and self-assurance in my name.
Replacing control with desire, allowing my mood to fluctuate. Prioritizing intuition over design, using violence instead of being tame. Using art to challenge the meticulous control freak I knew myself to be.